PRE RACE JITTERS

I am writing this the night before I go in for surgery. So many things are running through my head . . . so many questions. Will I be able to walk let alone run? Will I get rid of this catheter? Will I have to have radiation? Will all of this nerve pain finally go away? I have been in pain for so long I can’t remember what is was like without it!

It is hard to wrap my hands around being cut open and having a baseball sized tumor removed. While I am still out they will test it for more info. Will it be benign? Or will it be malignant? Is it fast growing or slow? It doesn’t stop there. They will still need to repair nerve damage from removing the tumor. My poor family and friends will be patiently waiting for any information.

I don’t know how this will turn out. I pray everyday that no matter what happens I have the strength to not only get through it but to accept it! My body has really been through the ringer. I have lost 10lbs and most of that was muscle. I haven’t seen the sun except for when I get in the car and when I get out! I have lost all of my swimsuit and bike short tan lines. I think my bike won’t even recognize me.

I’m so glad this day has finally come. I have some butterflies in my stomach but who doesn’t before something like this! I know I will be in good hands!!