Thursday, December 11, 2008
I'M STILL ALIVE
Usually no news is good news but that is not the case with me! I wanted to quickly update you guys because you have all been so kind in checking in on me!
After Tahoe I went in to try and have my drains removed but the blockage in my ureter was worse then they thought. Nothing was able to pass through because of all the radiation and abscesses. It is like cement in there. My urologist is hopeful they can figure out something but there is a slight chance I could be stuck with a drain out o m kidney forever! That is when I asked if they could just remove the kidney because I am not living with a drain. The doctors said that as an option but only if they can't fix the problem.
Maui was great but I was sick most of the time. I was able to suck it up and carry on but the mornings were really rough on me. It was great to see all of my friends from around the world. It brought such joy to me during a tough time. I was called up on stage to receive the Xterra Warrior award again. I cried once again and then got a standing ovation. It was a touching moment!
Once we returned home I had to go in for an MRI and CT Scan then it was on to talk to the Chemo doctor. I was told my scans were clean. No signs of another tumor Thank the Lord! The chemo doctor came ino the room and said he had good news. Because my scans were clean and I still wasn't well he was no longer reccomending chemo. As long as my next few scans remain clear I will not have to do chemo but if there is on sign of cancer anywhere I will have to start chemo immediatly. In the midst of all this bad stuff finally something good came along!!!
If my next scan remains clean then I will be able to go in for the surgery on my ureter. I pray that in February everything is clean and I will finally get rid of this kidney drain. It is hard enough to get around and the drain makes it worse. I really can't stand having it!
I was still having problems with nauseau and vomiting but it all stopped once I stopped taking methadone. It turns out that the combination of that and my antibiotics was what was causing my nausuea for so long. It even caused blurred vision.
I then got sick right before Thanksgiving and ended up in the emergency room all night long with Courtney. They could't find anything wrong with my kidney or the JP drain that had just been removed. It turned out to just be the flu . . . at least that is what we think it was. I had a fever for 5 days. My head hurt like crazy. When I put my head on the pillow it felt like it was in an oven!
All of this caused me to go into a depression. I was tired of being sick. Tired of needing help and tired of not being able to walk right. Even though I stated physical therapy again it only reminded me of how bad my leg is. I have no left bum causing all of my pants not to fit not to mention of how bad it looks. I have always been an athlete and took pride in how fit I looked. Now all I see is a really messed up leg.
Courtney got me a pair of walking poles to help me get around outside. When I finally started walking again I cried the whole time. The poles were great but I was just so sad. I have never really like walking or hiking. Why should I when I could run every where. This is my favorite time of the year to run and I can't. It is so frustrating and depressing. It was hard for me just to get out of bed.
I fnally got up a few days ago and decided to quit feeling sorry for myself. I am tired of thinking about all the things I can't do. I can't race but I can coach. I have been coaching ever since I gradated from college. I was a head Cross Country and Track coach for 4 years and I have been coaching several athletes for the past 5 years It is time to take all the knowledge and experieces I have and share them with others. I really do love coaching. So I am launching GutzyTriCoaching. So if you are looking for someone to help you get to the next level of you just need someone to give you a schedule to follow contact me. I mostly like Xterra but I can do Olympic distance, Mountain biking and running! This should keep me busy until I am strong enough to start doing camps. I am also working on the commentating and guest speaking. I already have a few gigs for next year. How fun! I love to talk and share my experiences with others so I think this will be great! If you want to hear a sample of my commentating you can check it out at www.Xterraplanet.com from Maui. I hearId Idid a pretty good job!
So things are looking up for me. I really want to pick up some new athletes to coach so I am going to work hard to find some. If you know of anyone send them my way! And last but not leat, my wetsuit sponsor (Maystorm) is designing a line called GutzyTriGear to help raise money for me. They are starting off with Jerseys and arm warmers. More info will be posted on my website. I am hoping this will take off because I would love nothing more then my own line of clothing! That would be so cool!
The Triathlon world just can't get rid of me! I won't let it! When life hands you lemons you have to make lemonade! Besides I know God has a plan. I know my life is about doing his work. I honestly don't know how anyone could go through what I went through without having faithin God! His strength has pulled me through some really tough times this year. I am so blessed!
Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers and support. Please pray that I get my ureter fixed and don't have to lose my kidney. Please pray that the cancer does not return and plase pray I continue to get stronger.
Powered By God,
Posted by Jamie Whitmore at 1:12 PM