Thursday, December 11, 2008

I'M STILL ALIVE

Usually no news is good news but that is not the case with me!  I wanted to quickly update you guys because you have all been so kind in checking in on me!
 
After Tahoe I went in to try and have my drains removed but the blockage in my ureter was worse then they thought.  Nothing was able to pass through because of all the radiation and abscesses.  It is like cement in there.  My urologist is hopeful they can figure out something but there is a slight chance I could be stuck with a drain out o m kidney forever! That is when I asked if they could just remove the kidney because I am not living with a drain.  The doctors said that as an option but only if they can't fix the problem.
 
Maui was great but I was sick most of the time.  I was able to suck it up and carry on but the mornings were really rough on me.  It was great to see all of my friends from around the world.  It brought such joy to me during a tough time.  I was called up on stage to receive the Xterra Warrior award again.  I cried once again and then got a standing ovation.  It was a touching moment!
 
Once we returned home I had to go in for an MRI and CT Scan then it was on to talk to the Chemo doctor.  I was told my scans were clean.  No signs of another tumor Thank the Lord!  The chemo doctor came ino the room and said he had good news.  Because my scans were clean and I still wasn't well he was no longer reccomending chemo.  As long as my next few scans remain clear I will not have to do chemo but if there is on sign of cancer anywhere I will have to start chemo immediatly.  In the midst of all this bad stuff finally something good came along!!!
 
If my next scan remains clean then I will be able to go in for the surgery on my ureter.  I pray that in February everything is clean and I will finally get rid of this kidney drain.  It is hard enough to get around and the drain makes it worse.  I really can't stand having it!
 
I was still having problems with nauseau and vomiting but it all stopped once I stopped taking methadone.  It turns out that the combination of that and my antibiotics was what was causing my nausuea for so long.  It even caused blurred vision.
 
I then got sick right before Thanksgiving and ended up in the emergency room all night long with Courtney.  They could't find anything wrong with my kidney or the JP drain that had just been removed.  It turned out to just be the flu . . . at least that is what we think it was.  I had a fever for 5 days.  My head hurt like crazy.  When I put my head on the pillow it felt like it was in an oven!
 
All of this caused me to go into a depression.  I was tired of being sick.  Tired of needing help and tired of not being able to walk right.  Even though I stated physical therapy again it only reminded me of how bad my leg is.  I have no left bum causing all of my pants not to fit not to mention of how bad it looks.   I have always been an athlete and took pride in how fit I looked.  Now all I see is a really messed  up leg. 
 
Courtney got me a pair of walking poles to help me get around outside.  When I finally started walking again I cried the whole time.  The poles were great but I was just so sad.  I have never really like walking or hiking.  Why should I when I could run every where.  This is my favorite time of the year to run and I can't.  It is so frustrating and depressing.  It was hard for me just to get out of bed.
 
I fnally got up a few days ago and decided to quit feeling sorry for myself.  I am tired of thinking about all the things I can't do.  I can't race but I can coach.  I have been coaching ever since I gradated from college.  I was a head Cross Country and Track coach for 4 years and I have been coaching several athletes for the past 5 years  It is time to take all the knowledge and experieces I have and share them with others.  I really do love coaching.  So I am launching GutzyTriCoaching.  So if you are looking for someone to help you get to the next level of you just need someone to give you a schedule to follow contact me. I mostly like Xterra but I can do Olympic distance, Mountain biking and running!  This should keep me busy until I am strong enough to start doing camps.  I am also working on the commentating and guest speaking.  I already have a few gigs for next year.  How fun!  I love to talk and share my experiences with others so I think this will be great!  If you want to hear a sample of my commentating you can check it out at www.Xterraplanet.com from Maui.  I hearId Idid a pretty good job!
 
So things are looking up for me.  I really want to pick up some new athletes to coach so I am going to work hard to find some.  If you know of anyone send them my way!  And last but not leat, my wetsuit sponsor (Maystorm) is designing a line called GutzyTriGear to help raise money for me.  They are starting off with Jerseys and arm warmers.  More info will be posted on my website.  I am hoping this will take off because I would love nothing more then my own line of clothing!  That would be so cool!
 
The Triathlon world just can't get rid of me!  I won't let it!  When life hands you lemons you have to make lemonade!  Besides I know God has a plan.  I know my life is about doing his work.  I honestly don't know how anyone could go through what I went through without having faithin God!  His strength has pulled me through some really tough times this year.  I am so blessed!
 
Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers and support.  Please pray that I get my ureter fixed and don't have to lose my kidney.  Please pray that the cancer does not return and plase pray I continue to get stronger.  
 
Powered By God,
Jamie 

13 comments:

anne marie said...

thank you so much for your update. I have been thinking of you and sending strength. How can I find out more about the gutzygirl coaching?

Chad in the AZ Desert said...

Awesome news about the clean scans! That really is great news.

I think your attitude through this ordeal has been fantastic. If you didn't go through some depression, you wouldn't be human. But you have really focused and that's why I know that you are going to make a great recovery in the end and come out of this an even stronger person.

Coaching, huh? Hummmm. I might have to take you up on that one. Keep up the good work. May God continue to bless you and Courtney and have yourselves a wonderful Christmas season.

wink said...

Great to hear the strength in your words. We are praying for you and sending our support to you in every way possible. Wink and Michael and everyone at Zeal!

Mark said...

Jamie

Receiving good news of your recovery is the greatest gift of all (for all of us this holiday season0. You and Courtney have a wonderful Christmas! I too, am interested in some coaching and this place you call the "next level". Stay strong.

Peace
Mark

Anonymous said...

Jamie I am so happy to hear from you. I hope you got my emails etc. You are in my thoughts all the time. I hope we can catch up soon!

Love, Amy

Neal Henderson said...

You're moving in the right direction! I know that you've had a tough year, but it's amazing to see how positive you are and to know that nothing will every keep you down. Hope you have a great holiday season and start 2009 off with good and improving health! Take care, Neal

Brandon said...

I've been a TBF racer for almost two years now and so have definitely heard of you and contributed what i could last summer through TBF. I'm hoping to do the new years duathlon again this winter and best wishes! I coach low-income high school athletes in Fresno, CA.

Eileen Swanson said...

We are all praying that you get better!! Stay strong! You are one gutsy, amazing girl!!

XOXOXO
E

The Upton Crew said...

Nice to hear your spirits up. We hope everything is great with you guys and have a great holiday.
Steve & Trish

Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading your updates. Your attitude and faith are amazing to watch. How do we contact you to find out about the Gutzygil Coaching? Sue (sueperbly@msn.com)

Liz said...

Yay jamie! Clean scans, no chemo, wonderful!

you are in my prayers.

It is OK to be bummed!! My gosh, you are human (well, super human).

Love to you and your family, Merry Christmas to all!

Craigger said...

Jamie! Hello There! I have always been focused to your steps of healing but I am hoping for every best ways to see you get out of that terrible illiness.. I do understand the sickness and pain you are going through. I have been going through so many volunteering times to help out many races throughout Northern California. Now, I am working for Big Blue Adventure. Every time I see and feel for everyone with disability @ any races from Eppies to CIM to Race for Cure to Feed the Hungry. But I feel for you as we in person to be you at any races to run with our feet for you - we ride and pedal with our feet for you. Someday we will bring you closer to better things to the best recovery and bring you back on your feet and race again with Us. For this New Year 2009 - On January 3rd.. I am going to race for my first time at TBF New Year Duathlon - I have never been a good runner but I m a great bike rider.. so Im doing it for you .. My prayers is holding up high in great spirits just for you .. Hang in there my friend.. We will Race for you forever!!

-Craig deVita

Marcus Barton said...

Stay strong and stay positive! You are truely a warrior! We're thinking about you in the southeast.