Monday, March 17, 2008

SETTING UP TRANSITION

I am finally home after 10 days in the hospital. I wish I could say that everything is ok but the truth is, we still don’t know what we are dealing with. After 3 different biopsies we know that the tumor originated in the glut and grew into my pelvic area. It is the size of a baseball and is pushing up against my organs and the nerves in my left leg.

The doctors aren’t really sure if the tumor is pushing or growing out of my nerves. Either way I am in a lot of pain. More pain then the bike course of Utah, Tahoe and Maui put together. On a scale of 1-10, (1 being no pain and 10 being a lot), my pain ranges from 5 on a good day and 11 on a bad day. None of the pain meds or “nerve blockers” work well.

The sad part is that it is affecting my ability to walk properly. I can walk on my own but I use a walker for stability and so that I can walk longer. While in the hospital I was up to one lap around the oncology ward in the morning and one lap in the evening. I remember one time as I hobbled along in the morning I was passed by an older woman pushing along her IV drip system. I couldn’t believe I was walking so slowly. I jumped into my competitive mode and tried to hobble faster. At that moment it really hit me, I could have cancer. Three months ago I was racing in Maui living life and today I was trying to walk.

Right now the doctors are figuring out when their schedules are free so they can operate on me. The plan is to just go in and remove the tumor and figure out what it is while I am still open. There are several things they will be looking for. The first is testing the tumor to see if it is benign or malignant. If it is malignant then they need to find out if it is fast or slow growing. The last thing is if it is affecting any of my nerves. Removing the tumor may cause a lot of damage to the nerves. This means my ability to walk properly for one example. Any way you look at this, it will be a challenge.

I won’t go into all of the different scenarios that can happen. I just pray that whatever the outcome I will have God’s strength to get through it. I was reminded by a friend to remember my own mantra “With God’s strength, For God’s glory.” I say this every time while I race to remind myself why I race. It helps me to keep my mind right. I know I will get through this with God’s strength and in the end it will all be for God’s glory!

I am completely speechless over all of the emails I have been receiving on a daily basis. For those of you that know me, I am never without something to say! But I would like to say that I am truly blessed to have so many people help me through this difficult time. I will win this race with the help and encouragement of so many . . . And I’m lucky because I can receive aid from other racers!

Stay tuned because we will keep you updated to what is going on. When I go in for surgery and how my recovery is going. Please keep the emails coming because they definitely keep me smiling!

I hope to see you out on the trails soon.

Powered By God,
Jamie

No comments: